Being Conflicted.

What do you do when you have a boyfriend, whom you love so dearly, and a boy you just love so easily? Do you scream? Do you cry? What can you do? Is there anything I can do? I love them both. It was a tough decision for me. I thought I would lose myself completely as a person, I almost did. What I thought I had with the other boy was not love, it was lust. And he never loved me either. He used me, got what he want, and then didn't care anymore. It hurts, you feel worthless inside. You become depressed, you want him, you love the other one. You doubt yourself. Then you find yourself becoming dependent on everyone. You lose sleep. You lose yourself. And then somehow, when you're face down in the dirt. You come back. You find who you are and who to love and trust. Then you start again, the bridges that you never meant to burn become mended, and you burn the ones that need to be burned. And you move on, stronger and wiser than before. And you realize that through all that pain, there was hope. And that's when you know you've found yourself. After all the pain, suffering, and lies.. you know what you need, what you want. You are who you are and no one will ever be good enough to change that. This is the point in time where you have discovered yourself. You have just begun to walk again and pick yourself up from the despair you had been wallowing in. This is when you began to learn how to breathe again. This is the journey to discovering who you are.

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